A work in progress

As a result of some tweets I made calling out Demi Lovato, fans of hers have gone through my twitter and found tweets that I regret having ever made. Despite current impressions, my activism has been an ongoing learning experience, and it's hard for me to believe there was ever a time when I found the violation of women's bodies and racial slurs funny or somehow worth laughing at publicly. But there was, and I did. My encounters with survivors and other people of color since that time have profoundly affected my views on bodily autonomy, sexual assault, anti-blackness, and just plain racism. I deeply regret my past sins on this front, and I am deeply sorry to those whose wounds have been reopened by seeing what I wrote.

I did not become intersectional, pro-black, pro latinx, or a feminist overnight. Neither have I “arrived.” It’s a daily journey when in which I choose everyday to learn -- first by listening, then by doing the work. Who I am today is a different person than who I was and who I will be in ten years will hopefully be a much better person than I am today.

An important part of my growth, one that I didn’t have six years ago, is that I have created a community, both online and offline, that lovingly calls me in (or if needed calls me out) when I mess up. Now I’m corrected in real time with individuals who care enough about me to help me learn and hold me accountable for my words and actions.

I know that my words were shocking, and it will take some time to rebuild trust, but please know that I am committed to making the world a better place for latinx, women, black, and all other minority communities. Even as I grow and am humbled by memories of who I used to be. I commit to doing better, and as a show of solidarity, I will be donating the fee for my next article to an organization that works with survivors.

I’m deeply sorry. I will do better.

In solidarity and with Love,

Eliel Cruz